While we were eating dinner, Noriko began to reminisce about the time she lived in New York, nearly 15 years ago.
“I work for Japanese employuh. Much nicer than American employuh.”
“Well, that doesn’t take much!”
“No, Japanese boss much nicer. I sink big boss fondle me…”
“Honey, we have done this one before – that is “fond OF me!”
“Whatevuh. He likeuh me. He go easy on me.”
“In what way?”
“Well, my English not so good back den…”
“I can’t imagine that!” : )
“You sink it bad now, but it ain’t. It good now. It bad den.”
“And?”
“Well, I receptionist…”
“What? Thay had you answering the PHONES with your limited English?”
“Yes, and when American client call I not understand dehr English.”
“So what did you do?”
“If they get too snotty I say ‘Excuse me, udduh call!’ and I put on hold”.
“You put them on hold? That must have just pissed them off even more!”
“Den if dey get TOO snotty, I say ‘Sorry, I can’t hear you!’ and I hang up phone.”
“Well, your boss must have loved that.”
“He don’t mind. He say ‘Noriko, you do vedy fine job.’”
“Huh?”
“And in ladie’s bathroom dehr was sofa. I sneak back dehr everyday and take a nice long nap.”
“And the boss loved that too?”
“He didn’t know. Only udduh guhl saw me napping back dehr.”
“You’re lucky he didn’t FIRE your little ass!”
“Ha! He was ready to promote me, to role of ‘personal executive assistant.’ But I decided to move to California instead. In any case, I was vedy good employee…”
Filed under: Uncategorized Tagged: | humor, japanese culture, japanese english, japanese girl
I love this story.
Noriko, those tales are great. The funniest thing, of course, is that knowing you, I know that they are all true, and I can just imagine you in each situation, and that makes them both more hilarious and more precious.
A couple of days ago, I was reading these stories out loud to Jim and we were both laughing our asses off.
Your uniquely yours perspective on the world is so refreshing, unconventional (pre- or post-? I’ll let Jim figure it out) and enjoyable, that I wish Jim was producing several of these stories every day.
I miss hanging out with you guys. It used to a lot of fun in the Pacifica days.
To Noriko Tamaki san
Thank you, Noriko-san!
Lawl I just noticed, you have the same name as I do. We both think the same way. Anyway, I’ve been coming by your site lately especially when I’m bored and have nothing to do .