Bad Japanese Wife! (Domestic Enlightenment?)

Noriko and I were driving home after visiting with a friend. I had to tell her that, after one glass of wine, she had gone a bit into “auto-pilot” verbally, leaving our head’s friend spinning. Sure, a lot of it was charming, but my honest impression was that some of it was a [...]

Media Madness: Noriko Watches Nancy Grace

Noriko and I were lounging on the futon together. I flicked on the TV, in an exploratory mood, and up came the celebrated commentator Nancy Grace. As usual, Nancy was foaming with rage and hatred. “Oh, no, NO NANCY GRACE!” Noriko declared. “She too much!” My feelings exactly, but [...]

Noriko Mourns Michael Jackson…?

Last night I came home tired after practicing aikido. I grabbed my dinner and flopped in front of the TV. Instantly the Michael Jackson thing came on – his memorial service in Staples Center, Los Angeles. I groaned with displeasure. “How long is this media frenzy going to continue?” [...]

Lost in Translation: Novel Japanese Expressions

Noriko was cooking lunch in the kitchen when I walked in. As usual, she began addressing a topic with little introduction. “I out of market,” she said. “Market too scary dese days. Too volatile for my taste. I not speculatuh; I swing traduh.”
“It’s up to you, honey. Whatever you want.” [...]

Japanese Girls Speak Funny English!

Readers may wonder – what is it like to live with someone who speaks English as a second language, especially when the language is as different as English is from Japanese?  Hopefully the Tales here have documented one side of it – the richness of linguistic and cultural nuance that is shared.  But what about [...]

Japanese Fortune Tellers and Investment Strategy

I recall a number of years back, when Noriko began to dabble in investing. She had read a few online newsletters and was inspired to try her hand at the market.
“Oil will go up, way up. My guts tell me and my guts always right. I invest in CCJ, uranium minuh, [...]

Japanese Domestic Violence (or “Noriko’s Revenge”)

The fall weather in New Mexico continues – clear, cool, and beautiful.  And with it comes one peculiar feature: I don’t know exactly why, but it is the season of high wasp activity. And that includes their coming into our house…
“I hate wasp!” said Noriko, ducking with excessive drama as one wasp flew vaguely near [...]

Japanese Domestic Warfare: “Just the Two of Us”

Noriko and I were on our patio, overlooking the mountains outside of Santa Fe. I was feeling invigorated by the perfect fall weather.  “So please recall that the other day, when YOUR dogs were feasting on the chocolate, where was MY dog, Billy?”    Noriko was silent, and then said begrudgingly, “Okay, I admit, Billy not [...]

Freedom of Speech – Japanese Style

Noriko and I were chattering in the kitchen about the financial crisis dominating the news. “I sell CCJ” she said. I tink commodities market go back up, but right now market just TOO irrational. My gut don’t like.” She began disrobing as she prepared to go to the sauna. ( “Japanese [...]

Japanese Bitches: Noriko Applies for Citizenship

Americans tend to see Japanese women as sweet, bowing, and deferential.  This myth is not fully informed, as you shall see from the following tale….
Noriko had applied for US citizenship and was feeling anxious, as she had not heard back.  She was inclined to interpret this as a problem.
“I nervous about dis…”  Noriko said, pacing [...]